NO.
Did you get your answer?
Was it clear enough?
Okay, I’m being flippant. And? …
This world discriminates. Yes, world. Everyone wants to prove they’re right.
Russians despise Chechyans, and vice versa.
Civil wars abound in Africa. Rebels everywhere.
Serbs, Croatians, Palestinians, Jews, Muslims, Christians, etc. etc. fight in and to protect the name of their divine one.
Aborigines and white Australians.
Blacks and whites.
Whites and Hispanics.
Fools and … everybody.
Okay, okay. Not wasting lines going on and on.
But I should, since I don’t have answers. Maybe one, occasionally some, often none.
Got lots of questions, like …
“Why do I scare you?
“What’s so wrong with you that you have to dawg me to make yourself feel superior?”
The other side has questions too.
“Why do you let me treat you the way I do? I just despise you more.”
“Do you really think I give a crap what you think? It’s my world, wish you weren’t visiting.”
“No, I don’t fear you. Do you fear me?”
Back ‘atcha. “Do you fear me?”
That’s power.
Deep issues.
Can’t get rid of them.
Total lack of trust.
The whale must save itself.
And we know all that.
So … ?
Recently I had an argument with a white male. His side – affirmative action is reverse discrimination. No group, especially his homosexual brother, is entitled to “special treatment.” My side – the old boys network was and is the most powerful and largest affirmative action program this country produces. That’s why y’all pissed.
He spit. Not at me. It’s a lisp.
I got loud. And louder. Which meant emotional. Didn’t care if it was stereotypical.
I got angry. At him, for obvious reasons. At myself, “Why was I in this same old argument, and why was I still arguing and getting loud when I knew that?” Dag.
Two white males walked in. One I let stay because I knew him. The other I told – ‘you need to leave. Step.’ Professional reasons. He did.
45 minutes later, he was still right, I was still right, and the white male I let stay said he was okay with affirmative action programs, but not for Asians – they have too much money already. Oookaaaayyy!
And I had wasted 45 minutes of my life.
And wasn’t consoled that so had he. And didn’t care.
The better way would have been to say, ‘uh huh’ and keep going. We weren’t going to change our opinions. We knew that going in.
And then I got it. Have you figured it out? Probably faster than moi.
We needed to vent.
We needed to take all that crap that builds up from all the times ‘we take it’ and spit it back in a safe environment.
Safe because neither one of us wanted to cross that line where we jeopardized our jobs.
Safe because we presumed we were both middle class professionals, wouldn’t get too ugly, and maintain some political correctness.
Safe because we were social work acquaintances. Occasionally laughed. Talked sports. Hated road construction. Shared lunch (translation – let management buy our lunch).
But sometimes …
Can you imagine the words if we really let go?
Maybe that’s one of the solutions. Put it out there.
Cuz sometimes if you get too ugly and really look at yourselves it just becomes funny. Laughter is a natural healer.
Speaking of funny. I was checking out this Chicago black singles site last week. Don’t go there. I like doing stuff. Sometimes with other people. Unfortunately most of my family and friends are poo-butts (I’m really in trouble now). Anyway, under the men seeking women was this … (remember it was a black site):
I am a 28 yr old, swm, 5’10″, short black hair, green eyes, thin, olive skin, and babyfaced. I am looking for a discreet, no strings encounter with a female between the ages of 21-45 who lives in the Chicagoland area and who wants to have some fun. I’d prefer thick black female, but am open to all races. Hope to hear from you soon.
Or how about this …
I’m a 41-year-old white guy, 6’2” 235 lbs. I’m of Irish descent and a complete gentleman. I’ll be upfront in saying that I am married. I hope this doesn’t disqualify me but I understand if it does. I am an affectionate person. I reside in the southwestern burbs near Tinley Park. I’m a financial professional. I also have a great sense of humor that you really have to meet me in person to enjoy. (He wants a jungle fever – his category.)
My highlights.
Pass.
But admire their chutzpah.
They put it out there. Didn’t care about the pc.
And it was funny.
See laughter is a natural healer.
So what are we gonna do about all this hate? In all directions?
How about work on our trust issues.
Think of a person not of your race who you really really really like. Do you trust them? All the way? To never become ‘white or black or brown’ if sides have to be chosen? Judgments to be made?
I don’t.
But then I don’t fully trust anyone. That’s 100% trust. Most of us don’t. Few of us do. Very few. Very very few. Whether family or friends or spouses.
We don’t like getting hurt.
We’ve been hurt.
They’ve hurt us.
We’ve hurt them.
Us. Them.
Them. Us.
That’s why we don’t trust.
And try to limit the chances hurt can occur.
So we hold back.
Get hurt some more.
Get suspicious.
Trust even less.
It’s complicated.
I am close to four white people. One is definitely a friend. Those beaucoup tell your secrets got your back friends. The other two – the relationships are still early. But we like each other. And care. In all three we’ve experienced those moments where ‘things’ became black and white. I felt hurt. Pulled back. Thought, “I knew it.”
Guess what? With two, those moments were not black and white. How do I know? Cuz I asked.
No, they didn’t go to the ‘but I don’t see you as black’, they didn’t see the discussion as black and white.
I got schooled.
I schooled them.
And we both grew … and trusted, and cared … a little more.
Because I decided not to add some more crap to the already there crap and screw safety.
Okay, yeah why should we always take the first step.
Why? Why? Why?
We don’t. I don’t.
And sometimes I still get ugly.
But here, I wanted to know.
I wanted to take a chance. I wanted to trust.
Cuz it’s good for me.
Will this Ezine Dispel Prejudice? no.
Already told you that.
Not going to take that pressure.
Shouldn’t have to take that role.
We all should.
If not for the greater good.
For our own.
