‘The Republican National Committee has asked to review the CBS movie – The Reagans – to ensure the former president is treated accurately….’ CNN.com, November 1, 2003.
‘CBS jettisons Reagans? CBS’ upcoming miniseries The Reagans has created so much controversy that the network sold the $9 million program to Showtime. Daily Media Newsfeed, November 2003.
Well Lordy Mae Jesus, why didn’t I think of that!! A simple, foolproof, not illegal way to …
From now on when a new show or movie or docudrama or dramedy or whatever is developed and I don’t like the sound of it, I’m going to ask for a review. And voila, the project may get shelved.
‘Mel Gibson reviewed by the Catholic Church’
Okay maybe I need to be an official body. That seems to carry a lot of weight, but, puh leeze, that’s a snap.
(lists weird sounding group names)
All of these are official organizations. Groups of people gathered together pursuing a common goal, as self-evident from some of the names. Others, who the heck knows.
I think vague is the best way to go. Then I’m not limited in the good I can do!!
Did you know that the efforts of one lady, one lady, got Mitsubishi to withdraw it’s commercials from the show “Married with Children”?
The Power of One.
Ooo wee. I’m having fun now. I need that name.
(lists weird sounding name for my group)
No something more ethereal but commanding.
(lists weird sounding name for my group)
Now I’m talking.
Then I’ll need an EIN (employer identification number) from the IRS. Just in case some ‘gets it’ person wants to give a monetary gift. That doesn’t take long … Wait, if we associate with an already established body, like a church or a company or some other nonprofit, we can use there’s. Skip all that messy paperwork. And it gives more credibility.
(lists weird sounding name for my group), an organization of Mt. Saint Zion Missionary Philanthropy Church of the Divine Spirit which waters my soul, held a press conference today where they announced, “we’re mad and we’re not taking it anymore.”
OR
(lists weird sounding name for my group), a division of The Blue Chip Fortune 50 Very Profitable corporation announced “we’re mad and we’re not taking it anymore.”
OR
(lists weird sounding name for my group), a newly established committee of The United Urban Association for the Benefit and Advancement of Ourselves issued a press release announcing “we’re mad and we’re not taking it anymore.”
However I do it the message will be the same we’re (I know it’s just me, but we represents) mad and we’re not taking it anymore.” So be gone you shows I don’t like or agree with or represent my point of view.
And since my viewpoint is the one that represents the will of the people, automatically I could save the networks billions, not millions, of dollars.
All those Lifetime ‘oh my god I’m a woman, victimize, victimize, victimize me, so I can take a gun and stalk you later.’ Gone.
T and A shows – talking about you Baywatchers. Poof. Poof. Poof. And Poof. Didn’t want to leave a body part out.
Reality TV shows, except American Idol, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and Newlyweds: Jessica and Nick (Yes, I watch that show), oh so gone. In fact, they would not have made it out of development, because the persons who gave them the green-light would have been fired, long before.
Now on to films.
Battlestar Gallatica? What was Travolta not thinking!
Bonfire of the Vanity? Walked out after 15 minutes.
Undercover Brother. Not buried deep enough.
Books. Harlequin Romances. Who reads that junk? ‘I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Love me, love me, love me. Take me, take me, take me. I’m yours. Sigh. Sigh.’
Magazines. Martha Stewart. Does that really need explanation?
Everything that offends, annoys, disturbs me. Heck anything that I just feel like pulling cuz I can demand review – adios amigas.
Don’t like my choices?
It’s my party, so go cry if you want to. I don’t care.
And remember, I’m doing it for you because I know what’s best.
I’m feeling my strength now. I go sow me some more oats!
And the best part, I haven’t violated that sanctum of free speech because like the Catholic Church and the Republic National Committee I never said ‘you can’t say that’ or ‘you can’t put that out.’ I just asked to … review.
A mere word, when coupled with the auspiciousness of the body, being sufficient to have a $9 million dollar tv-movie or (cost of mel) movie tanked before the public sees it.
And after you do that the first time …
Ah, the power of fear.
Review! Jump fool jump.
Review! Beg fool beg.
SAY YOU’RE SORRY!!! Because I gotcha. You’re not making a move or thinking a thought or saying a word without wondering ‘Is this okay? Will I get in trouble? Maybe I should instead …’ You’re second guessing yourself to please me, and that’s all I really wanted. Control.
And it’s free for the taking, by anyone willing to …
All those sitcoms with nothing but white characters. In New York? (Except for Friends which I love.) Bet you’ll think twice before alienating all those people of color now.
For my supremacy friends, Roots. Black folks already mad over the sitcoms so piss them off again. Who cares!
The movie The Joy Luck Club? My Chinese friends told me their lives were nothing like that. Buh bye.
Let’s knock out a few speeches while we’re at it.
All those words from all those people.
Gettysburg Address? If we’d kept that cheap labor the economy would be robust.
I Have a Dream. That’s your problem, you stay in the bed too much. Get to work.
Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. Vietnam. Vietnam. Vietnam.
Let’s review it all.
Sure we may get a few wrong, but imagine if someone had turned the mike off of Hitler? Or Idi Amin? Or … you fill in the blank. It’s not hard. And where the hell is
Saddam getting this video camera? From Sony??
Well since the news is now being reviewed, sorry Dammie. You don’t make the cut.
I want happy news. And happy ever after endings.
One dimensional people, ‘who act alike, who talk alike, we even really look alike. It can blow your mind. Cuz we’re mindless, we’re all one kind.’
Yeah we would have been better off without the evil thinking/acting people (free will is a witch, isn’t it), and yes it would be nice if we could sometimes turn off the rhetoric mindless dial, buy come on folks.
For every Idi, there’s a Ghandi.
For every Adolf there’s a Malcolm and Martin.
For every extreme, there’s another end of the pole and all the stuff in the middle, which is were most of us fall. I’ve always said that 5% of the people have 95% of the voice. There’s 2 ½% on the left, 2 ½% on the right, and 95% …
95% saying nothing until the intrustion is into their house, on their lawn, up in their face.
Maybe no law is broken by ‘reviewing’ the acts of others, but when the review impedes the subsequent free will of expression it’s immoral.
If we don’t like something, change the channel, don’t go to the movies, turn off the radio.
If it pisses us off, then we need to get off our excuses and show the another side.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – ‘free speech isn’t free’. The price is high when you have to listen to someone who is the total antithesis of you spout off something that makes you boil to the core of the essence of who you really are.
But when you take away that right.
When you infringe upon that right.
When you impede that right …
The next silence you hear, may be your own.
