Between the news and my mind – “It’s really hot in here!”.
Oh Yea, About The Pope & George Bush
My friends Sydney* and Frank* are over 21, consenting adults, and in love.
“The room was crowded,” Sydney starts. “Our eyes met, then … nothing. “Frank was drunk.”
“It had been a long day, with a longer week,” Frank interjects. “But when I started hurling …”
“I pushed Frank toward a bathroom. And I’ve never touched chunky monkey ice cream since,” Sydney added.
“I got a ride home.”
“I was a designated driver.”
“Who requested I hang out the window,” Frank interjects again.
“You smelled,” Sydney smiles.
A stare. A private joke. And you know they got “it.”
In this chaotic narcissistic jaded society, they’ve found love, with each other. For a moment, you bask in their warmness. Being loved feels nice. But there’s sadness.
Frank starts. “My mother is Orthodox Jew. To be involved with Sydney …, ” His voice breaks. “She (his mother) knows I’m happy. We’re happy. And that makes her happy. But …” His voice breaks again. “Our family rabbi won’t marry us. Even symbolically.”
Sydney tries to be stoic. “Even some of our so-called friends …”
Frank speaks up, “They’re still our friends. Even generally open-minded people behave judgmentally when faced with … certain issues. When we walk down the street. In some neighborhoods.” He takes Sydney’s hand. “We’ve made new friends. We have support.”
Sydney pipes up again, “But mainly … with our own kind.” A delicious laugh bubbles from deep within. “There’s more of us than people think. We won’t stay behind closed doors to make them comfortable.”
They touch again. Just a slight hand gesture, but one resonant with deep feeling. Frank adds the last word.
“We don’t seek approval, nor special treatment. But hate? Rejection? Stares? We’re human beings. God created us too.”
“And loves us. So why can’t you? Why can’t you?” Sydney whispers.
================
* My conversation with Sydney and Frank is hypothetical, based on statements, feelings, and situations heard, felt, and encountered over the years.
And up front I will say, I am guilty of “unopen-minded behavior”- I’ve done my share of eye-rolls and stares. Once I stared so hard I would have embarrassed myself, if I hadn’t been so hard-hearted. And more honest. That the problem wasn’t them. It was me. And my issues. Over who should and who shouldn’t be together.
But it’s hard to hold prejudices when you get to know someone … and like them. Because you care, you make allowances. And show respect. And agree to disagree. Because truthfully, despite the previous idiotic behavior of some states and colleges – we are free to love, physically and emotionally, who we want and how we want, when the parties are consenting adults. Our morals may not agree, but then do any of us have sufficient morals to make ourselves the arbiter of all right and wrong, good or bad, moral or immoral behavior? Well, I do, but the rest of you …
When it comes to consenting relationships, folks need to stay out of other folks’ business. I repeat, folks need to stay out of other folks’ business.
And don’t say, ‘well don’t put it in my face then. Don’t parade down the free street. And go into the free stores. And attend my free church cuz then you’d force me to be what I say on Sunday, and I only do that when it’s comfortable. So stay in your home. Your house. And stay out of mine.’
Hmph, like you own the whole universe.
Anyway it won’t work. I tried that. Dag I wished it. But when I opened my eyes the Sydneys and Franks were still there. Exercising their Constitutional rights granted by birth or admission into this country.
While I fumed and fussed, got pissed, and sent daggers – they went on their way.
While my girlfriends and I dawged them – did u really think I’d let it go that easily? – they were still going about their business. And I was stuck in theirs’, when I should have minded mine.
I’ve become more tolerant. More a sign of old age, than wisdom. Oh, not tolerant of their actions, but my reactions. I got better things to do. Better things to worry about. Better things to solve.
So if you want to walk down the street. Fine.
You want to have a parade. Fine.
Start a web site. Fine.
Join a church. Fine.
Start a new church. Mo’ fine.
Get married. Fine by me. Frank, just remember to send a good one my way.
Prefer black (don’t want to bite my tongue in my own house) but am very open … to all races.
(Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.)
What?
(What does race have to do with it? You said you’re open to all races.)
I am.
(But they’re gay.)
Who’s gay?
(Sydney and Frank.)
No they’re not. They’re black. And white. Frank’s a black Jew and Sydney is white. With blond hair. A she.)
(You were talking about an interracial relationship?)
And an interfaith relationship.
(And that’s wrong?)
For some people, yes.
(I though you were talking about a gay couple.)
And it made you uncomfortable.
(No, but it’s wrong.)
Because …
(It’s wrong. Two gays shouldn’t be together like that.)
Why do people, especially guys, always think of two guys when they see gay? I’ll tell you why, because if it were two women, you’d probably get excited. Your male fantasies playing out.
(Women don’t like it either. Two women. Together.)
And polls show more blacks are homophobic than whites. Your point?
(What’s your point?)
I believe you’ve proved it. When you thought they were gay it bothered you. But since they’re not, you’re cool. That should make you uncomfortable!
(It’s against the Bible. In Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 God condemns homosexuality.)
And Deuteronomy 7:3-4 is used to ban interfaith Jewish marriages. And white South Africans used the Bible to support the institution of apartheid. And holy wars are being fought all over the world. And plantation owners started churches on Sunday and raped black women on Monday. And in the name of their Allah who condemns American capitalism, idiots justified flying fricking jets through the World Trade Center and killing men, women, and children. Do not use the God, the Bible, or any other holy book as an excuse to justify your issues.
I mumble. Folks always using God to condemn activities they wouldn’t do, but never consider its applicability to activities they commit – Heard a sermon on ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’ lately?” Um hmm.
(That’s not fair. Just because some people use the Lord’s name in vain doesn’t mean he doesn’t condemn homosexuality.)
And by your logic, the fact that you approve of interfaith marriages doesn’t mean they’re right. And only when “God” agrees with you is she right.
(She who?)
God’s a she. And a he. Don’t go there.
(You’re confusing the issue.)
No y’all are. And further more, God may not like the act but he loves and shows love to the actor. And further more substitute the word interracial for gay and not too long ago states outlawed those relationships on moral grounds also.
(You shouldn’t have titled this ‘Oh yea, The Pope and George Bush.’ It’s misleading.)
Speaking of misleading, should we assume the Pope is more supportive of pedophilia than homosexuality since he didn’t make a big deal out of that? And still hasn’t. And personally I’d rather the president deal with the economy. And before you continue being a frick brain, I’m bipartisan. Clinton stuck his head in his a%% with the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. No pun intended.
(Silence. You don’t understand.)
And neither do you. That’s the point.
Kobe Bryant
You weren’t there. I wasn’t there. So I take no sides, albeit at times difficult.
I’m a Kobe fan.
I’m a survivor of rape victim.
When she (or he) says no, it’s no longer consensual.
To not acknowledge joint liability is stupid. Although no one has the right to rape another individual, even if they stand butt naked in their face, the chance of incidence increases.
It’s a legal question.
For 12 people applying ‘experiencial’ law. Translation: decisions, even legal, always include ‘based on my experience’ logic. Which is why a change of venue is needed.
All circumstantial evidence (there are no known witnesses) waiting to be spinned.
The best spinner (Kobe, her, the prosecution, or the defense) will win.
Two lives are forever changed.
And a whole lot of men, especially black ones, learned some valuable lessons.
Bet Allen Iverson is looking a whole lot better to some folks.
