“Last night I got so depressed I thought I had nothing for which to live. I do feel I am close to breaking. I must go to GOD and am asking you too go to him with me to help prevent me from having a complete breakdown. I am being attacked by Satan so badly. I know that only prayer can save me now.”
If we haven’t been in this valley, quite possibly we’ve been asked to help someone who’s there. For me, I claim both. But if it’s the latter, what do you do? What do you say? Knowing that your words can heal or hell.
‘Don’t act until your spirit discerns’ – was the advice given me by a wise friend, who also happened to be my pastor. ‘Quite often we want to move (act), when we need to stand still (feel), because our overwhelming humanness wants to help someone in need. Save the whale. But if you stand still and feel, you will know the right moment to move and the right words to say will spill forth. You may feel some conflict over whether you should do it or say it, but if it’s the right moment, any hesitation you have for any reason will take a back seat to your spirit’s push forward.’
Easier said than done.
Actually back then I didn’t have a clue in heck what he meant. Okay my brain got it, but my soul said, ‘huh.’ But as I grew in life’s wisdom (hopefully) and faith salvation (definitely), I was able to clearly see those moments when ‘I got it, I didn’t, and I thought I had but really hadn’t.’
When this plea came to me, the words came tumbling out.
“I’ve been there. Have you considered counseling or asking your doctor to prescribe an anti-depressant drug? And before you balk and stalk into your ‘all I need is Jesus’ another friend once reminded me as I stood in the shoes you’re now standing in to remember the joke: Flood comes, Man sits on roof waiting to be rescued. As the water rises the man cries out to God to save him. And a boat comes by offering help. And another boat, and another boat. But each time the man says ‘no thanks, cuz he’s waiting on the Lord. He has faith’ When he’s neck deep in water about to drown, he beseeches God asking, ‘Why have thou forsaken me (more like Job than Jesus).” And God answers, ‘I didn’t. I sent you 3 boats. Now why didn’t you get in???” If you break your arm you go to the doctor. If you break your spirit, shouldn’t it at least have the same right to be healed?
But you’re asking a faith question, so I answer in faith also.
In the Christian religion the Bible says we should have faith the size of a mustard seed. That mustard seed applies to all religions because the seed teaches us not just that a little goes a long long way. It also teaches us humility and humbleness, basic tenets of all religions. So if we can just go back to the simpleness of our faith, the purity of its being, all the crap and self righteousness that we as ‘people of faith’ add in our arrogance of being God’s children, clears away.
Satan is not attacking you. Hear me. Satan is not attacking you.
You are attacking yourself.
Try getting quiet in quiet surroundings, close your eyes, and continue answering to yourself this question, “I hate …” and fill in that blank. Be honest. No one hears you but you and spirit. Repeat the statement over and over and keep filling in the blank and filling in the blank until you are emotionally and physically spent. ‘No mas,’ your body will say. ‘No mas.’
But one more time say “I hate … ‘ and what fills in the blank this time will be the core of the wart, the real root of what is going on. And that core root now needs to be cleansed.
Push the core out by now answering the question, “Why?” Why do you hate … Like saying ‘I hate’ you may have to answer ‘why’ many many times before the core fully pushes out. Don’t you hate pimples? Was that on your list. J But once the core root is out, the open wound needs to be healed.
To yourself now say and say until you really mean it, “I’m sorry.” Say and understand, “I’m not crazy because i have felt so crazy. I’m healthy because I’m dealing with it.” Say, “I’m healthy. I’m normal. Other people have been here too. I may be here again, But for now … Thank you Lord. Thank you. Thank you for giving me this moment.
Now rest.
No matter what time of day it is, no matter what is on your plate – rest. Take that nap. Let the tears fall if they come. Don’t fight the physical pain of exhaustion you now feel. Just sink every essence of who you are and what you feel at this moment into the arms of the bed which just wants to enfold you in love. And when you wake up …
Don’t Go Back There. Don’t go over what happened. Don’t go over what you learned. Don’t go over. Just smile and say thank you, again.
Take a walk. Read a book. Listen to music. Burn a soy candle (not petroleum, soy). Dance. Go back to sleep. Do whatever makes you just relaxed and soothed.
And more importantly don’t share all of ‘this’ with anyone who you are not 100% sure will and can gently hold you in their hands. This is a fragile and vulnerable time.
Relax and soothe.
At a point you will begin to feel even more refreshed. Not a lot. Not totally. But a little bit more. Be grateful, and say thank you again. The adage our mother’s taught us, ‘you can never say thank you enough, is true in this instance.’ For every time the words are uttered in whole sincerity you heal and humble.
At some moment now (it can be immediate, it may be a day or two, or a week or more) your spirit will say, ‘I think I can … , ‘maybe if I …’
You’ll feel empowered. Ready to conquer. You’re healed. You made it through. You got it going on. You are that and all that more.
Cut it off. Because reality is only a smidgen of what you feel. And if you act based on this lightheadedness, you’ll do something silly. You’ll try to save the whale (yourself, your friends, the world) by throwing out so many nets, you end up sinking again.’ Stepping back into the valley.
So when empowerment occurs, say ‘thank you’ and then act just a little bit on the ‘maybe if I’s’ and ‘I think I can’s.’
Every day keep taking one step out of that valley.
But on the days you find you can’t. On the days you find yourself treading backwards, acknowledge it. Again, we’re human. This is the time to remind ourselves how amazing and phenomenal we are. We’re not perfect. No one is. But not being perfect doesn’t mean we cannot be perfectly content is acknowledging and accepting and working on our imperfections. That’s healthy. And this is also a good time to remember those things you did that you are proud of yourself for doing. So you didn’t perform at Carnegie yet. So your magazine hasn’t blow up the world. You will. It will. But even if these things don’t happen, what about the time you smiled at that child whose mother was acting stupid. You may have given that child the only lifeline he or she has ever had, and which led the child to believe and hope. What about that hug you gave so and so in church? Now I’m not big on this recent year trend where we got to go all over the church hugging everybody saying ‘God loves you and so do I’ but every now and then one of those hugs feels like the spirit of the Lord is passing through. You may have saved a life. It may have been yours. That’s a proud moment too. Heck include those moments when you could have gone off because you were right, but you didn’t. You schooled instead. You may have saved another person from that office crap.
Bottom line, you have done things for which you should be proud, but if you can’t think of anything, still don’t despair. The fact that you’re here at this moment having done the work to heal is something to be proud of.
I hope this helps. For my spirit, thank you for reminding me of humbleness.
